You could potentially torpedo not one, but two relationships. That is, unless all three of you proceed extremely carefully and communicate openly with each other. And these days, who has the time for that? Things work differently in Hollywood. They leave their family for six months to go shoot a new Marvel movie in England. The potential for friends and exes to become tangled is incredibly high. And when it goes wrong, as these things so often do, it happens for all the world to see. How did the following stars deal with seeing their exes and friends together? Many of them handled their business with class, while others made huge mistakes, and in either case there are a lot of lessons we can take away.
Sex expert Tracey Cox reveals the questions to ask before you dating your friend’s ex
Being friends with an ex is always a tricky business. The truth is, marriage shouldn’t be the dealbreaker. Sometimes, being friends with an ex is totally natural. Either you dated a long time ago or your relationship was never that serious, so it was easy to transition. But emotions are complicated—and often the situation is a lot more ambiguous. And what marriage might do is give you the motivation to decide if this friendship is working, once and for all.
DEAR CAROLYN: About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We were all recently married then.
Dear Carolyn: About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We were all recently married then. The husbands had a falling out seven years ago and we all stopped speaking. She particularly shunned me after their argument, which had nothing to do with me or her. I felt pretty sad but moved on. Fast forward to when I was divorced for one year and they were separated and in divorce proceedings.
He and I reconnected and started dating, and we have fallen in love. While we never even flirted while we were all married, we always got along. I have never been happier in my life. It was all above board, no shenanigans. He is now divorced and upon finding out about us, she has had a major meltdown. She is furious and accused us of having an affair because we started seeing each other while they were separated.
I feel horrible, but she and I have not been in contact for several years.
My best friend started dating my ex-husband and I am broken
Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love. A good way to gauge this is by suggesting an outing where your friend and their ex will both be present.
27 votes, 87 comments. When I split from my high school sweetheart after 11 years together, 2 years married, my maid of honor was at a bar with him .
When it came to my marriage, I told my best friend absolutely everything. Now, I know that was a huge mistake. My ex-husband is now dating my best friend and now I am broken. Our kids went to school together and two of our daughters played in the same netball team. I really leaned on Amber in many ways. She was always kind, always willing to help me and, because we both went through a divorce around the same time, we had a lot to say to each other — particularly when it came to talking about our ex-husbands.
Few topics were off limits, from our sex lives to everything that revolved around the complexities of a family breakup. She knows a lot of intimate details about my marriage and subsequent breakdown. She knows that I was a victim of emotional and financial abuse. But, four years down the track, she rarely speaks to me.
Our friendship has completely dissolved and, in my eyes, is irreparable.
7 Times It’s OK For Your Partner To Be Friends With Their Ex & 7 Times It’s Definitely Not
M y ex is one of my closest friends. We split seven years ago after a two-year relationship, but we, and our families, are still close. She even organised my last birthday party. You have to grieve the loss and watch them move on without you. For Joy Smith, 37, becoming friends with Joe, her ex of eight years, was similarly fraught.
I mean you really would love nothing better than to have them to yourself but you know you have to respect the boundaries hopefully. They belong to your friend and it would look real bad for you to make a move on that person. Fast forward and now they are no longer with your friend. They broke up for whatever reason and it turns out the attraction is mutual. You want to act on it but maybe you feel it is a violation of your friendship…Give me a break! You are two adults and neither of you are obligated to anyone.
So why not just go make it happen?
You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right
It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation. Go ahead and ask him out. Just ask her.
After having been dating your ex’s friend of her boyfriends and i’m acquainted with many years, it depends on my husband we met him. Was not a spark when.
If you’re a former letter writer and would like to send an update, please email it to meredith. Tell us how it all worked out and whether we were a help. Include your original email address so I know it’s you. I have a best friend of almost 10 years, and, separately, an ex-husband of 13 years. I got my best friend got a job working for my ex-husband and I thought I was doing the right thing. She was jobless, stressed about money, and would lose her house.
He had a job opening and needed someone trustworthy. Up until this point, he and I had remained friends we share one child. We didn’t argue and co-parented well. I thought my friend would work for him for a few months while she looked for a different job. That didn’t happen. She has now worked for him for more than a year.
My Ex is Dating my Friend! How to Handle it and How to NOT Go Insane
Sign up for the Divorced Girl Smiling newsletter to receive weekly articles that might help you during and after your divorce! I seriously felt like I was going to go insane. Here was a woman who I thought was my good girlfriend. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things—personal things about my ex and our relationship, why I was getting divorced, etc.
I shared things with her and trusted her. Weeks later, I saw my ex leaving her house.
Staying friends may allow you to stay in the loop about their dating life and even give you some influence over it—a tempting prospect. But becoming your ex’s.
A young lady sent me a message last week asking for advice. She was angry that her friend recently started dating her ex boyfriend. She felt betrayed that her friend would even give her ex who broke her heart time to make his intentions known. She wanted to know if she was wrong for showing her friend the door even when she has never given her any reason to doubt her loyalty. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they are just following the rules. Unfortunately, life is very unpredictable and your friend can end up falling in love with your ex.
You just have to be open, honest and wise about your dealings with the two people involved in the matter and of course, follow some guidelines. The reverse is also true; no matter how much you love discussing your boyfriend with your girls, his ex can probably live without hearing the details of his current sex life. This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you will find a sympathetic ear. If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.
You need to respect boundaries without making assumptions. Remember that you can love them both without them necessarily having to enjoy each other. Set aside time for each of them and honor each relationship separately. Be- sides, comparing yourself to any- body even if you come out ahead is going to make you feel bad, be- cause basing your self-esteem on where you stand relative to some one else is not healthy.